Let’s begin with the happy ending
I’m passionately in love with an incredibly beautiful, manly-man who often weeps when he looks at me because he’s so touched by being in the presence of the Goddess. Our lovemaking takes me to heights and depths I’ve never known.
I’m aligned with my soul’s purpose, I’m being showered with abundance, and love my work so much that I’d do it even if money were no object.
I experience life orgasmically, whether in the bedroom, swimming in the river, hanging laundry on the line, or drinking my morning Irish Breakfast tea with milk and honey as I watch the sun come up through the pines.
It wasn’t always like this
Over a decade ago, before my own awakening Shakti journey began, I wore frumpy house dresses and thought of sex as another item on my relentless To-Do list. I found intercourse so unappealing that I secretly wondered if perhaps I was a lesbian. Goddess worshipping? Definitely something to avoid, probably involving middle-aged hippies with hairy armpits singing badly.
When my husband at the time sarcastically started calling me, “The Superintendent,” I actually took pride in it: after all, I was clearly the one who wore the pants and made things happen, men were mostly clueless anyway, and everyone knows if you want something done right you’d better do it yourself.
When Danielle La Porte and I were talking about this, she named it: “the epidemic of the brittle woman.”
The wake up call
SHE (whatever you want to call Her) will eventually get your attention, either gently or with a hammer, and get you back on course. For me, it was the heart break of two miscarriages and the death of my dream to have more children. The shock of being on Oprah with a mere 36 hours notice was quite a humdinger as well.
But the pièce de résistance, the ultimate shattering, was when my husband abruptly walked away from our 20 year marriage. Without looking back. With another woman. Who didn’t have cellulite.
“Dark Night of the Soul” doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Bless the mess
I know you have your story too. Things are shifting and falling apart all over the place right now. Maybe for you it’s in the domain of relationship, aging, being a mom, facing a health crisis, losing your home, a crisis of career or purpose, riding the waves of menopause, empty nesting, or just an aching need to connect to your feminine soul.
I get it. I’ve been there too. And I’ve learned that the big breakdowns usher in the big breakthroughs.
Now I thank the Goddess for the stuff that feel apart, as painful as it was, because it gave me of my wings, my work, my life. I saw how my relentless masculine competency and self-sufficiency undermined the polarity in my relationship. I learned how to soften, be vulnerable, and trust men again. I learned how to connect to the deeper guidance and rhythm of my feminine soul. I found my inner marriage and authentic power.
I teach and coach from this place, from what I know. I don’t come from a long lineage of gurus from the East. I come from Southern California, from a middle class, non-religious upbringing.
It’s my joy and my honor to support women (and the men who love them) with the awakening of their sacred feminine life force energy or Shakti. I’ve done it and you can to. I believe that your life, and the life of this planet, depends upon it.