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When I first heard about Tantric Sex, I thought I’d learn some secret techniques that would shift things in the bedroom from just OK to spiritually ecstatic. I imagined some kind of check list with a step by step formula, that would get me to the gold. I’m a pretty quick study.

Enter humility and confusion. I did learn a bunch of techniques but they didn’t immediately open the doors to bliss. I learned that the techniques are only that: techniques. The map is not the territory. The real transformation eventually happened when the techniques gave way to something much less tangible: a gateway into the grand mystery of embodied loving. Because our erotic energy is a mystery. It’s the energy that creates life itself. And it doesn’t get more magical than that.

It’s actually in the surrendering of the techniques after we’ve practiced them enough, that we enter into a portal that contains but doesn’t guarantee the experience of oneness, love and unity with the Divine that so often calls us to the path of sacred sexuality. It’s about releasing, opening and being present to the flow of the mystery of Shakti that’s already moving inside of us.

In sacred lovemaking, we come back over and over again to the breath as a way to deepen into presence. By engaging with all our senses, what we feel, taste, smell, hear, and see, we heighten our experience of being fully in the moment. By breathing our arousal up from the pelvis, we invite it to spread through the rest of the body and up to the heart, infusing our lovemaking with more energy.

Instead of keeping our sexual energy concentrated below the waist, it awakens the whole body with it’s sacred medicine. We’re not racing to the finish line of orgasm in the hypermasculine friction sex model we’ve been sold. Instead, we’re floating on undulating waves of orgasmic bliss in our relaxed feminine body that was designed for extended rides into ever expanding pleasure.

With presence and curiosity, we can enter into portal through our lovemaking whether we’re making love to ourselves or with a partner. It’s a portal that allows us to move inside of that mystery where we can start to taste our own totally unique versions of greater bliss, union, love, and connection. It is cultivating this inner mystery, this sanctuary, that invites our sex into the domain of sacred and Tantric. That doesn’t necessarily mean incense and candles. It can just as easily mean red lingerie and rock music.

For so many of us sex becomes a once a week thing; something that happens on “date night” or at the end of a busy day or week. We rarely give it the space it needs to fully reveal itself. Just like anything in our lives, when we put energy, time, and commitment to it, it will naturally begin to lead us, show us its mysteries. Are you creating the space in your life to support and nurture this blooming? Or are you just looking for some quick tips or techniques, some secrets that will unlock the treasures hidden deep inside. They’re hidden deep inside for a reason. They’re precious. You’re precious. The innermost temple of your feminine body is sacred soul space. Honor it and it will guide you home.

With big love to you, Lisa