My Journey to Sacred Sexuality and Tantra
I found the Tantric path at a time of confusion and frustration. My winning strategies just weren’t working anymore. As a result of my chaotic childhood, I learned to find security and control in over-achieving, accomplishing and care-taking. After graduating from UCLA, I had a high profile career in high tech marketing that left me burned-out before I turned 30. I spent many years stressed out, “trying to do it all:” working as an entrepreneur while nursing my baby, supporting my husband with his business, managing our life and homemaking.
Needless to say, things we’re stuck in the bedroom. After ten years of marriage, there was a lot of love but little passion between us, resulting in tension, frustration and blaming. We searched around for solutions and tried a lot of things that didn’t work. Then we found a book on Tantra. And everything started to shift.
I agreed to teach my first workshop in 2002 only after my closest girlfriends repeatedly urged me to share with them about what was sparking the personal breakthroughs and awakening in my marriage. The couples workshop rapidly grew by word of mouth. Then I offered my first women’s retreat and over 40 women attended. Many came up at the end with tears in their eyes. Others eagerly asked what was next and I could only stare at them blankly.
Clearly something significant had been unleashed. But still I kept the sacred sexuality work in the closet, separate from my “professional” coaching practice, because of concern about damaging my reputation with my executive-level clients.
The Oprah call
Just a couple of years into my Tantric exploration, on one random, drizzly Tuesday morning as I was banging away on my computer, the phone rang and it was a producer from “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” She was following a lead from a publicist via a colleague of mine who had attended my women’s retreat a couple of weeks earlier. Thirty-six hours later, my husband and I found ourselves being proclaimed “Tantra Experts” in front of millions of viewers all over the world.
As Carolyn Myss would say, “I smell God.”
On one hand, I was wholly unprepared. I didn’t even have a website at the time (although amazingly enough the site went live and we had an e-book for sale by the time the show aired ten days later thanks to dear friends and contacts from my high tech marketing days). I also had to have some bizarre conversations with my existing coaching clients (“By the way, I forgot to mention that I teach this ‘Tantric Sex’ thing and I didn’t want you to be shocked if you see me on Oprah next week.”)
On the other hand, it all seemed perfectly orchestrated by grace. I can see now how everything in my life prepared me for this path. And I know now, without a doubt, that this is my “dharma,” my work to do in the world and my purpose for being here this time around.
Although my husband’s path diverged from mine eventually and the dissolution of our marriage was extremely painful for me, I will forever be grateful to him for beginning the Tantric path with me. I’m happy to say that he’s still very much a part of my life and we continue to be beloved friends.
Stepping stones on the path
Being on mission and on purpose is an amazingly wonderful feeling (even when it arrives as a bolt of lightning). I see now how everything in my life prepared me for this path.
- an early incident of sexual abuse
- my erotic and orgasmic awareness as a child
- being raised by liberal, loving, and sensual parents
- the priestess lineage from my astrological moon in Virgo
- my life-long quest to know and embody the divine feminine
- the sexual frustration and challenges in my marriage
- a period of years exploring the agony and intrigue of polyamory
- the shock of being left by my husband
- the catalytic lovers and sex-capades of my single life
- almost a year of celibacy
- the beautiful depth of the monogamous Beloved relationship I’m in today
The most powerful energy we have access to
I am attracted to working with sacred sexuality because it is the most powerful energy we have access to – the power that creates life itself. We were all born sexual beings, fully alive to the joy and sensual pleasure of our bodies. Our bodies were exquisitely designed for love and ecstasy.
Very few of us, however, landed in environments that supported or protected this innocence. Instead we were shamed, shut down, given destructive and negative messages about sexuality and the feminine, or told nothing at all. At least 25% percent of us were abused sexually.
If we have any hope of reclaiming the earth and awakening consciousness, I believe we must begin with ourselves. I work with high achieving professional women because, quite frankly, I’m up to creating significant, rapid shift on the planet. It’s an “all hands on deck” kind of moment.
As Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, “Do not lose heart. We were made for these times.”
Women are movers and shakers. Maybe that’s why the Dalai Lama says we are the ones who will save the world. We have the influence, resources, skills, and heart to make it happen. The time is now.
Awakening Shakti is here to serve this change, guide you back to what you already know, and help you unleash your sacred feminine life force energy. It’s the New Face of the Feminine. It’s the journey I’m on and, I gotta say, the better it gets the better it gets. I invite you to join me.