Tantra is about saying “Yes!” to life in all it’s glorious, chaotic beauty: the light and dark, hard and soft, movement and stillness. Tantra embraces all and rejects nothing. It gently reminds us that we are already whole and complete. A “sacred marriage” occurs inside each of us as we honor our own internal masculine and feminine qualities. From our own wholeness, we open our hearts more fully to recognize the god and goddess within others.
Rather than being an obstacle to enlightenment, Tantra sees the body and sexuality as a gateway to spiritual transformation. Our sexuality is the most potent energy we possess: the power to create life itself. As we begin to awaken new frequencies of our sexuality, neither repressing nor over-indulging but honoring a middle way, we access an alchemical power that can serve greater creativity, manifestation, joy, and love. What will it serve in your life?
One Tantrica’s Journey
Although I’ve been on a Tantric path for many years now, I feel as though I’m just beginning. The better it gets, the better it gets. Although it’s wonderful to have a tantric partner, I’ve come to realize that this path begins with me. I encourage you to begin, with or without a partner, because ultimately, this is your journey.
I began exploring Tantra because I felt that something was missing for me in intimacy. I was orgasmic and sex was good but I wanted it to be great. I could feel ecstatic potential bubbling inside of me but couldn't quite tap into it. I had been married for over ten years when I started practicing Tantra and the patterns with my husband were well-established. Our communication about sexuality often led to conflict. We would often fall into patterns of blaming and making each other wrong for what wasn’t working. "If you would just ....then I would be...." The impact on us was frustration, sadness, feeling separate, and stuck in many aspects of our relationship.
Tantric and sacred sexuality practices gave us a whole new realm in which to connect. We expanded our narrow view of sexuality and learned ways of moving energy together for healing, for ecstasy, and for spiritual awakening. We became much more present to the Divinity in ourselves and each other, which ushered in new levels of unconditional loving. We became less concerned with goals and finish lines and more satisfied riding waves of expanded bliss.
Rumi says, “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” For me, Tantra was this new field. Rather than trying harder to “fix” what I perceived as broken in myself or my marriage, I simply left that battle ground and entered a new, clearer place. A place were sexuality and spirituality were One. A place were eroticism and soul were integrated once again. Although my marriage has now undergone a loving dissolution, I will forever be grateful for how powerfully Tantric practices have enriched and transformed my life. I am committed to continuing my own path of learning as a Tantrica and I am dedicated to supporting other women, men and couples in accessing their sacred sexuality for more love, joy and awakening.
As a woman, I’m also keenly interested in supporting other women in awakening their Shakti. It’s a very individual journey for each woman. My own path has taken me through layers of healing around an early incident of sexual abuse, giving myself permission to feel and open more deeply to pleasure, learning to love my body exactly the way that it is and is not, and empowering myself by accessing not just the receptive, gentle side of the feminine but her sword-wielding, “Don’t fuck with me” warrior energy as well. My work with women whether in personal coaching or in groups and workshop settings helps women fall more deeply in love with themselves.
What is Tantra?
Tantra means many things to many people. Literally, it’s a Sanskrit word meaning “weaving” and “expansion.” The Tantric community is definitely eclectic, containing everything from devout spiritual practitioners to New Age prostitutes. It’s important to ask questions, do your research, and trust your intuition before selecting Tantric teachers or programs.
Tantra was born in India 5,000 years ago as a rebellion against the strict moralistic codes of the Hindu religion. The ancient Tantric texts were written as a dialogue between Lord Shiva (symbolized as pure consciousness) and his beloved consort, Shakti (symbolized as pure energy). It is said that the entire universe was created through their erotic union. All living things emanate their holy dance of consciousness and energy.
Although the West is fascinated with the sexual aspects of Tantra, it is actually a broad spiritual discipline that contains sexuality as one of its many practices. The body and sexuality are sacred gifts from the Divine, vehicles for enlightenment not hindrances. The sacred and erotic art of Tantra depicting the coupling of Shiva and Shakti represents the ultimate unity of the Divine, the essential wholeness of yin and yang, masculine and feminine, light and dark.
Quotes on Soulful Sex and Eroticism
If we could recover a sense of the holiness of eros and its creative, divine place in the nature of things, we might see how absurdly small our view of sex has been, and we might reinstate it without moralism at the center of life, where it can offer vitality and intimacy of unrivaled power. Before we can give depth and richness to our sexuality, we have to discover the value of deep pleasure and desire and at the same time relax our anxious attention to the control of the emotions, the justification of our lives by work and restraint, and our belief in the value of repression and suffering.
— Thomas Moore, The Soul of Sex
The true liberation of eroticism lies in accepting the fact that there are a million facets to it, a million forms of eroticism, a million objects of it, situations, atmospheres, and variations. We have, first of all, to dispense with guilt concerning its expansion, then remain open to it’s surprises, varied expressions, and (to add my personal formula for the full enjoyment of it) fuse it with individual love and passion for a particular human being, mingle it with dreams, fantasies, and emotion for it to attain its highest potency.
— Anais Nin, In Favor of the Sensitive Man
Your sexuality is god’s love letter to you, a miracle of biological engineering that could have been devised only by a mind of vast and humorous generosity, a mind that knew the pain and the sense of confinement earthly beings would feel and wanted to make sure you might always have glimpses of heaven.
— Jalaja Bonheim, Aphrodite’s Daughters
Truly qualified tantric practitioners wish to follow the speediest path to enlightenment, not with the desire to gain quick liberation, but because they have unbearable compassion for others. They realize that the longer it takes them to achieve enlightenment, the longer everyone who needs help will have to wait. The lightning vehicle of tantra is therefore intended for those who wish to help others as much as possible, as quickly as possible.
— Lama Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra
For I tell you now that within the heart and the mind and the body wisdom of the feminine lie some of the greatest secrets and greatest powers—and they await to be revealed. And all of it is laid open by the touch of another!
— Mary Magdalen (channeled by Thomas Kenyon & Judy Sion), The Magdalen Manuscript
Yes, it’s true that the senses can lead you astray and the pursuit of pleasure can get you into trouble. Sensual pleasure needs the guidance of practical and ethical judgment. But you won’t gain good health by repeatedly vetoing the vote of the senses and denigrating the wisdom of the body. Nature was neither capricious nor perverted in making sure that, other things being equal, what feels good is good for you.
— George Leonard
The essence of tantra is dealing skillfully with pleasure. The person who qualifies for tantra is someone who can cope with pleasure, someone for whom dealing with pleasure becomes a conducive situation for achieving liberation. This is the tantric personality. If a person only knows how to be miserable then tantra will not work for him or her. Like a nuclear reactor without any fuel, such a person will have no resource to utilize for the necessary transformations.
— Lama Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra
