In my 30’s, when someone cancelled or changed plans, I remember how quick I was to judge them as “flaky” or unreliable. I held myself to the same standards and prided myself on integrity, punctuality and follow through. I was very busy being an over-achiever.
In my 40’s, my feminine awakening began in earnest. I started questioning my allegiance to masculine ways of doing things, seeing the tyranny of patriarchy. I began embracing the idea of cycles, natural rhythms, blood mysteries, indigenous wisdom and moon time. When plans changed unexpectedly, I practiced letting go. I’d say things like, “It’s in the hands of the Goddess” or “It wasn’t meant to be.”
In my early 50s, the “change of plans” became The Change as menopause swept through every room of my being. Little Miss Efficient found herself with mush for a brain, losing track of time, missing or cancelling appointments. I craved time alone and felt positively allergic to being on the hamster wheel of life. Instead, there was empty-nesting, shedding the skin of old identities, loosening my grip on the Mother archetype and reaching for something new: Queen. Now I’m 55 and it’s 2020. Change of plans is what’s for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Here’s what I’m noticing.
First off, there are very few places to go or plans to make during a pandemic. This is paradoxically confining and liberating at the same time. But even when I do make a plan, these days I just assume it will change. That’s the new normal in these volatile and uncertain times.
For example, our recent camping trip got cancelled at the last minute because of extreme weather. So we came up with an alternative and then that got thwarted because of potential Covid risks. Our “plan C” ended up working; we risked driving 5 hours to the coast and luckily found a first-come, first-served spot with availability.
Then the day after we got home, lightning sparked a wild fire just a few miles from our town and the whole week was tense with evacuations, power outages, disruption, and a whole lot of anxiety. I started to realize that we’re dealing with a hierarchy of catastrophes that keep shifting.
Have you noticed how quickly our perceptions around change and normalcy have shifted?
I’m genuinely surprised when something planned actually happens these days. There’s a kind of deep gratitude and awe about the simplest of things coming together that would have felt completely alien to me last year as I constantly scheduled and gobbled up one intoxicating plan after the next. It never occurred to me that it could be any different. But it is.
And here we are.
These words from Octavia Butler are ringing in my ears lately and I offer them to you:
“All that you touch, you Change.
All that you Change, Changes you.
The only lasting truth is Change.
God is Change.”
Right. We are being asked to grow, wake up, and take action in these times of reckoning. And here’s a thing to remember, we are designed for change. Our feminine body is a master of cycles. Shakti is change. Much of the change we’re experiencing is long overdue, like the current revolution and uprising against racism and white supremacy. The pandemic has us confronting our own mortality, livelihood, questioning our well-laid plans. We’re asking deeper questions about what really matters. And it’s hard.
I invite you to take a little inventory on how you’re doing with the level of change right now. Here are some coaching questions to breathe with, ponder, journal about.
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how much change are you currently dealing with?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, how compassionate, loving are you being with yourself about how you’re coping? What could you do to increase that?
- What are your top 10 ways to support yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
- What needs to be grieved during this time and how can you make more room for that?
- What gifts and opportunities are being presented to you in the midst of so much falling apart?
- Where do you want to be on the other side? What are you dreaming into being?
I want you to know that with all the change we’re dealing with collectively, you can count on me to reach out to you with these reminders to love yourself, body-heart-soul, as a woman of Shakti. Thank you for being a subscriber.
You can also count on our global Shakti Oasis sisterhood. Our membership circle is almost three years strong now and it has truly been a sanctuary for us like-hearted women during these times. This month we are deepening into “Sensuality and the Erotic” as a way to stay resourced and nourished in our bodies.
Join our Shakti Oasis membership circle here.
You can also count on me as your coach if you’re ready to shift out of the stuck places and start magnetizing more of what you want into your life. Right now you can book a Discovery Coaching session with me at half-off my regular rate. Let’s create some magic together.
May you find moments of calm as you surrender to these strong currents of change. May you use this time to shed what is no longer serving you and walk the path of your truth. May you be nourished by your sacred feminine energy, your Shakti, as your ulitimate renewable resource. You are a courageous woman awakening. I see you.
With all my love,
P.S. Ready to connect? Book a one-on-one Discovery Coaching session with me or for community and group coaching, join us in our Shakti Oasis membership circle: a sanctuary for sisterhood, deepening and growth.