What does it look like to take this energy that we are generating – this aspect of our Shakti that is our sensuality, our erotic juice, our orgasmic energy – and bring that into partnership? Or, if you are single, what does it look like to take this energy and applying it in the context of your own inner marriage – how your Shiva (your masculine energy) and your Shakti (your more feminine goddess energy) are together inside of your own body?

The overall principle embraced here is that we do this inner work with ourselves, to bring ourselves into greater wholeness, greater erotic union within, and this greater union is not dependent in relationship. For many of us, once we have that greater wholeness, it feels very much like it’s our path to share that with another.

We all have masculine and feminine inside of us in erotic union. It doesn’t matter if we’re partnering with a biological man or biological woman or we enjoy both, we still have this dance of what we might call polarity – this passion between the masculine and the feminine. Even as I use the female and male pronouns in this text, this understanding about Shiva and Shakti and our erotic union is very, very relevant for all of us regardless of our sexual orientation.

The Shiva is the masculine, very often depicted as the masculine or the god in us. Shiva is also this capacity for awareness, pure awareness, consciousness and emptiness. In the moment of your creation there was the fertile egg of the mother, of your mother, that was magnetizing towards her the winning sperm of your biological father. And you were also that, you were the winner, you were the sperm that mated that fertilized that egg. Then there is the Shakti, that is the feminine, that is the flow, that is the yin to that yang.

The Shiva, that is you, is dancing with “she who cannot be contained” – the energy of the Shakti. What does it feel like to come from a place of inquiry and curiosity about this union of masculine and feminine within you? Does it feel like this union has some room to grow; or in fact is it possibly contentious or nonexistent? This level of inquiry and sensitivity is particularly relevant as we look at the different roles we play in our lives. In which roles that we play do we find ourselves engaging more of the masculine, or Shiva energy? In which roles do we find ourselves leaning into the female, or Shakti energy?

We really draw a lot on our masculine energy when we’re in that mode where we’re having to make decisions: to plan and focus and generate, produce and make things happen; track lots of details and analyze situations, and be decisive. On the other hand, in other aspects of our lives we might really relish and feel that it’s just delicious to relax and soften and not figure everything out: to be able to just completely surrender into our feminine – our Shakti.

This dance of Shiva and Shakti embraces a spectrum. Where it becomes relevant, in terms of our sexuality and relationships, is when we have strong Shakti and Shiva polarity: when we identify with whatever pole we’re identifying with, whether it’s our masculine or feminine. The stronger that our difference in polarity with our partner is, influences that we’re going to have more passion, more juice, more sexual turn on, typically a lot more arousal.

The masculine is irresistibly drawn to this aspect of the feminine. It will happen very naturally.

~ With much love, Lisa