The day before our national “Independence” holiday and within hours of the New Moon eclipse, my wedding rings disappeared.
It seems they didn’t want to be married to me anymore. They wanted their freedom. They were eclipsed.
I’m not the kinda gal who misplaces things. I’m the one who not only tracks my own stuff but everyone else’s. I usually have the answer to the question, “Have you seen my…..?”
I remember getting into bed and putting the rings on my nightstand before moisturizing my hands and falling asleep. It’s about the only time I take them off.
Rings you say? Like more than one?
Yes. As you probably know, I got married last Fall. My beautiful, simple band of small diamonds was exactly what I wanted. Our two rings, together in a sheer pink bag, were passed from hand to hand through every row of guests and blessed by each person there. Then we placed them on each other ring fingers.
On my right hand I wore my “Inner Marriage” ring. It held the diamond my dad gave to my mom when they were married in the early 60’s. She gifted it to me when I got engaged in my 20’s because my first husband and I couldn’t afford one. We designed a very special wedding ring around it.
Many years later, we redesigned that ring for a rededication ceremony when we renewed our vows.
Then he chose to leave our marriage and I stopped wearing that ring when everything fell apart. I realized that I had no idea what marriage meant. I felt that somehow I had become divorced from something vital and fundamental in myself. So I rededicated myself to the only marriage I felt I could ever count on: the primary one, me with Spirit, with my own sacred union of Shiva and Shakti inside of me.
In celebration of that commitment to myself, I took the diamond out of the ring, scrapped the rest of it and designed a brand new one. I based it on on the six pointed star because that’s the sacred symbol of the heart chakra. A yang triangle pointing upward to the heavens, overlaid with the yin triangle pointing down to the earth. I put a tiny ruby at the “yoni” point to remind me always to keep my divine feminine on top.
The artist I worked with said the creation of the ring was mystical; she kept feeling the presence of Isis while crafting it. The ring was completed the day before my 44th birthday. I had a wild ceremony with my goddess sisters and married myself, powerfully claiming my own sovereignty. I’ve been wearing that ring for ten years.
No small loss these rings. It’s true that they were just material things, but as material things go, they were probably the most symbolic, super-charged, and precious ones I owned.
We turned the house upside down. Tore the bed apart and up-ended the mattress. Picked through the dirt and hair balls in the vacuum canister.
No one else had been in the house during the 36 hours between when I took the rings off and I realized they were missing.
Except a new housekeeper.
She had impeccable references. I spoke personally to 3 of them–all professional women locally who said they trusted her completely, that she’d been cleaning for them for many years. I liked her immediately. We had the nicest connection. I made her an excellent cup of coffee with organic cream and we talked about her 3 kids. I gave her a crisp $100 bill when she walked out of the house. She did a fabulous job too. I was so pleased.
I called her several hours after she left to see if she had any ideas about where they could have gone. She told me how sorry she was I was dealing with this. Hoped I’d find them soon. Told me to keep her posted because “now she was curious what happened to them.” Said she’d never seen them while cleaning. I believed her.
Because how could my intuition be so wrong? Nothing in my guidance system had raised a red-flag with her.
I searched for another explanation. I cried a lot of tears. I bounced from disbelief to denial, anger to grief.
In a dark moment, I put a curse on “whoever” took the rings (being careful not to name the cleaner since I didn’t have any proof it was her). I didn’t know that I knew how to level a curse. But I was pissed off, freaked out and feeling violated so I hissed something like, “To whomever may have stolen my wedding rings, know this: all the love they represent will come to nothing but dust and misery in your life!”
But the next day I woke up feeling nauseated and defeated, which finally ushered in surrender. I started to grapple with the deeper reasons this might be happening. It was time to let go. To trust. To return to love. Because the alternative was just too damn painful.
Then I remembered the curse. Holy crap. That is not who I am. I apologized to the universe. I removed the curse. I changed it to a prayer: “If someone took my rings, then I surrender them to you and their fate. They have been so precious to me and given me such joy. May they continue to be a blessing wherever they are carried…”
I filed a police report. Changed the locks on the door. I confronted the cleaner again more directly with a request that she return the rings if she took them and told her why they were so important to me, how devastated I was. She again vehemently denied having anything to do with it.
I keep holding onto the possibility that maybe they’d just show up. Although everything points to the cleaner, it’s still just very hard for me to believe she would do that.
It still just doesn’t ring true.
Maybe it was the faerie folk? I made offerings to them at my creekside altar: flowers, incense and ripe red cherries. As my dear priestess sister, Kalila said, “Lisa, sometimes things just disappear.” My rational mind and the control-freak girl who’s totally organized, we’re not really buying this explanation. My soul-self though readily acknowledges the incomprehensibility of the great mystery.
It’s so paradoxical how the flip side of loss can be liberation. I’m not talking about some stupid “it’s all good” bullshit. I’m talking about what happens when you truly love something (or someone) with all your heart and you’re asked to sacrifice and let go. The initiation that comes through the fire of that intensity.
A friend gently suggested that I look for the gift in all of this and in the moment she said it, I wanted to whack her. But it’s true. If you look, the gifts are always there. None of it makes sense but here are some other pieces of this mystery:
- Curious that the rings disappear the day after I offer a class on the “inner marriage” in our Shakti Oasis membership program, on the eve of our US Independence Day celebrating “freedom.”
- Ironic that during this time, my former husband (and now beloved friend), sends me the final payment for our divorce settlement, payments he has been making to me monthly for the last ten years. We schedule a date to share a special drink together to honor this final piece in the completion of our 20 year marriage.
- I share about the loss with my mom and we have some tears together about it. She reaches down and takes off the beautiful diamond ring she bought for herself and hands it to me. “I don’t need this anymore Lis. It’s going to you anyway when I’m gone. I want you to have it now.”
Here’s what rings true: this is a full circle moment.
I’m wearing the new ring. It doesn’t feel like “mine” but I’m very grateful to have it. Mom suggested that we use it to design a new ring and that feels right.
What also rings true for me is that I no longer need two wedding rings, one for my autonomy and one for my union with my husband. Perhaps this is an invitation to create a sacred symbol of my fidelity to Love: of my Beloved and my own soul, in one.
What rings true for me is that this sacrifice is in service to something significant on many levels. They say the eclipse portal delivers just this kind of medicine. The grief, loss and violation are bitter pills to swallow. But the sweetness of realizing that the real marriage lives in this heart, fragile and fierce, that knows how to grieve and let go and love. And that can never be taken away.
I hesitated to share this story because on one level, it just smacks of privilege: white girl with a housekeeper whining about losing her diamonds. Fair enough.
But I risk sharing this story with you in the hope that it touches something inside of you, opens your heart, perhaps brings us a little closer together. There has been tremendous healing in the telling of it, so thank you for listening. My deepest longing, though, is to serve the awakening of your sacred feminine, your Shakti. Goddess feels like she’s all over this story so may you take away from it whatever She most wants you to hear.
Here’s another very strange twist in the plot. I’ve been writing and rewriting this piece for several weeks now. I finally deemed it complete and was just about to share it with you when I got a flat tire. Which put me at the tire repair place at 8:15 on a Monday morning. That’s about the last place you’d expect to find me early on a Monday morning. I finish my business at the counter, turn around and the cleaning lady is standing in line right behind me.
So we very awkwardly say hello. And start talking because there’s no other option. We talk for 30 minutes. I get to look deeply into her eyes and what I see back is sincerity. I hear her tell me over and over again how she had nothing to do with the missing rings. She even says she’ll come over and help me look for them because she’s so positive they will show up. We share a hug at the end.
I believe her. I want to believe her. It gives me renewed hope that the rings will show up, somehow, somewhere. Renewed hope in humanity, in my own intuition and instinct. I tell her how strange this whole thing has been and that, for whatever reason, she and I had this date with destiny, this intertwining of our karma. That I so hope I can call her and tell her I found them. She says she’s praying for that too.
Maybe I will never know. What rings true is that our threads are intimately interwoven with each other, that the mystery is there to help us surrender our compulsion to comprehend, that loss always makes room for something new to arise in. And so it is.
It is such a great privilege to be in communication with you. I’d love to hear from you so please give into the temptation to reply or post a comment.
With all my love,
Lisa
OMG, so with you with each word!!!! I’m so sorry Lisa.
I hope they turn back up in another amazing story that you’ll share with us. In the meantime, it totally sucks!!!! You’re doing really well with it, but it still sucks. I’m going crazy myself just thinking about it 🙂
Love you, thanks for all you do and give.
Cella
I am curious to know what happened to the rings…
The truth and the wisdom of this event will come to the light one day. I am positive 🙂
I understand your emotions well! I had a similar experience with the only piece of jewelry I have ever had custom made. It was a beautiful heliodor crystal and was made at a time in my life when I was shedding the need to be there for everyone else. It represented me stepping up and into my own power. When I picked it up from the jeweler, I felt like a cool adult woman! Well…I lost it a few years later. I was heartbroken. I am in the crystal and gemstone business. I have lost (and vacuumed up) more stones than I like to admit. The lesson was that I no longer needed the piece to represent anything in my life. I would love to tell you that I am 100% ok with it being gone but I must admit it still tugs at my heart a bit. So I continue to bless the piece, wherever it ended up.
I hope your rings turn up, and wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Stones have a way of traveling sometimes! I have stories! Perhaps it is just that you no longer needed the representation the one ring held. Now why the other one took off too is a mystery.
I wish you and them many blessings and may your paths cross again if that is truly to your highest good!
I had jewelry stolen as well during a move. My mother’s wedding ring – and she had just passed 4 months prior – and my wedding ring. The movers were so sincere but I know in my heart it was them as all my non-diamond jewelry was untouched. It still hurts 9 years later but overtime the pain lessens. Wishing you peace.
Anne
As you said at the beginning, “sad but true.” I agree; it was the cleaning lady. She probably sold them to a pawn shop – you might check with some local pawn dealers and show them a picture of the rings. They just might turn up.
Just a side note – your story is well written – check the fourth to the last paragraph starting with, “We started talking….” You have “We started taking….” When I wrote my book, I had to read sentences backwards for misspelled words – but “talking and taking” are both legal. Easy to miss.
Good luck in Australia – what part are you going to? I hope you get to see Sydney Harbor and the gorgeous bridge and Rush Cutter’s Bay – also beautiful.
Write me when you get home – I’d love to hear about your experiences – have some incredibly good Australian mustard, field mushrooms – the size of a small dinner plate – and excellent dairy products – probably from New Zealand. Are you going there as well on the way home? Fabulous scenery!
Love,
Marie
I had two sets of people working in my home about 5 years ago. At that time I had a beautiful diamond ring that my parents had given me many years before. The diamond had been brought out of Germany in the early 1930’s by a Jewish doctor who was escaping the rising tide of antisemitism. This added a remarkable story to the stone and reminded me, too, of our family’s fortunate choice in moving to the US in the early 1900’s. My Dad and I had the stone reset and it’s sentimental value to me was indescribable. During the renovation my ring disappeared. I searched for it, off and on, for 5 years. I never stopped looking for it, kept going through the pockets of my clothing, searching in the drawers and also harbored some pretty nasty thoughts about the two possible ‘thieves’ that had taken it. And no, the ring was uninsured. I tried to buy a replacement ring for several years but always returned it as it wasn’t quite right. Last fall I was in California and found an amethyst ring that felt like the right ring for me. I was very happy wearing it and knew I had finally given up finding my diamond ring. A couple of months ago I decided to, once again, do some decluttering and started on a drawer in my bureau. This was at least round 3 clearing that drawer since I first lost my ring. I started opening up eyeglasses holders – my Mom had a bunch of them that I inherited – and found a dime in one of them! then onto the covers I had made for yoga eye pillows. I felt the bottom of one and thought it felt like a button, turned it into my palm and there was my diamond ring. I was dumbfounded and elated. OMG. I phoned my daughter, I laughed, I kept staring at the ring, I put it on. and then, I remembered how much ‘ill will’ I had felt towards the ‘thieves’…I was humbled by my anger, distrust and fervor. I began silently to ask them for forgiveness and hoped that my slings and arrows had never gotten to pierce them as they had pierced me.
Dear Lisa,
What an extraordinary life story, strange connections, believing in humanity, letting go, being yourself regardless of events… wow! that is truly a moment of meeting the self. Thank you so much for sharing this heart felt moment from your life.
I must say that housekeepers have been notorious of stealing jewelry, one dear girlfriend told me a similar story. What is precious you always keep hidden when not in use, that way there will be no sorrow.
Sending you abundant resilience to receive and let go. Wishing you joy above all, and treasure the moment as you know how.
Loving blessings, Giselle
Wow Lisa, that is quite a story! Thanks so much for sharing it! As an astrologer the first thing I thought was, this is something horary charts are best at – finding missing objects. My friend Wade Caves is super gifted at horary. Just google him. He’s in London but does consultations all over the world. I have studied horary but am not competent enough yet to ‘render a judgment’ in such a matter. But it’s fascinating all the surrounding issues and details it can tell you, as well as pinpointing what happened to the rings. If you do contact Wade, please let me know what he comes up with!!
I love that you are looking for the gift in this story…
And what an interesting twist that the cleaning lady was in-line with you.
But… where the heck are those rings?
Let’s hope that… as with so many other things in life… when you truly let go of your attachments, then the Universe will gift you with treasures.
Just look at my pregnant belly at Age 46 and you’ll see this surprising truth in action…
I love your writing and positivity Lisa ! Hoping this story was going to have the I found them moment.
On my surf trip last year in panama three young couples were at our little jungle eco resort and the lady’s would play volleyball on the beach every evening. Super fit with skills like they played college ball and fun to watch until this screaming like someone just stole her child. The beach was short with waves washing up and back. Everyone around ran to her ,the wedding ring had just flew off! Hands and knees in the surf we searched, then finally everyone surrendered. It was heart breaking. Then her best friend just says calmly “ here it is and quickly picked it up in the sand as another wave pulsed over. Wow , it was emotional and beautiful in the same moment.
Love, Rick
Thanks for sharing this story Lisa!
I can understand that it might have been difficult for you, it certainly would be for me for sure.
I had a very similar experience years ago when I was still living with my parents in Turin, Italy and had purchased a pearl string that I wanted to finish with a golden clasp to give it to my high school mate as she was about to get married in Rome and one day that string of fresh water pearls just disappeared out of the blue in the space of few minutes!
Still to these days I wonder where those pearls have gone and why …
I never had an answer and a conclusion of the story!
So it’s life at times …
Maybe the message could simply be that the things we cherish the most have to go at some point for no particular reasons?
Thanks again for sharing your story Lisa.
Love and hugs from The Flying Witch
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for this tale. I so look forward to your newsletters! You are such an elegant heartfelt storyteller. As you find mystery, resonance & meaning in everything that happens to you. I enjoy the unfolding … as each episode, reveals a little more about you & how you actually live your Shakti infused life … navigating various twists of destiny, with so much love & deep passionate curiousity.
That said, I do want to say. There are more possibilities to be considered in such situations. A. A housekeeper might have let someone else into the house; or someone else could have snuck in while she was cleaning, and you were out?
BTW A psychic detective may be helpful in coming up with more unusual scenarios ….
NB. I have been in similar situation, of losing something inexplicably. My MA thesis. Before the final copy was turned in! I was deeply depressed about it. What I did was, find a psychic detective. The kind who is renowned for finding missing children for the police. She told me someone had taken it out of the storage in my former home, by mistake. But that it would take me so long to find it, Id be better off rewriting it. Then. I had an earthshaking, incredible, magical 2 hour polarity/deep bodywork session from a dear friend of mine. And woke up the next morning, bright & able to walk to the library, take my notes, and rewrite the whole thing from memory & notes. It was not even that difficult. It came out beautifully as the 1st time. So my lesson was something about courage & fortitude & friendship. The experience of pure earth mama magic.
The mantra I keep on my virtual desk is a famous quote:
“SOMETHING always goes wrong. Otherwise there isn’t a story.”
And so it is. Look forward to hearing which way the Mystery leads you next …
Lisa,
If your rings still haunt you, consider astrologer Simone Butler’s practical suggestion. Horary astrology is all about asking a question while a chart is drawn up based on your query. It’s a excellent tool! I hope you check out her referral in England. Please keep us updated!
Tanya