I love talking about sex and regret that we didn’t have more space to explore this in our Sacred Pause Shakti Oasis class recently. So I’m circling back around to offer you some more sensual food for thought via the blog.

First off, at the risk of sounding all inflated, I confess that I’m a post-menopausal woman who’s feeling more deeply satisfied sexually than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. It’s even better (way better, frankly) than during my wild polyamorous decade when I had some truly hot lovers and crazy amazing sexapades (there was all that drama but that’s another chapter).

It’s also true I’m madly in love with my husband and blissed out in our monogamous union. Sure with our birthdays next week, we’ve definitively entered our “mid” 50s. He’s had a hip replacement. I struggle with 20 extra pounds. And we’re increasingly marveling at the wrinkles, gray hairs and dependency on reading glasses.

All that is very real but so is this: when we light the candles and get naked together, body and heart, all of it fades away.

What arises is passion and pleasure like I’ve never known. It keeps getting better, hotter. I’m continually, amazingly, expanding my upper limit capacity of what I’m able to receive–how much ecstatic, orgasmic energy I can channel through this body.

Here’s the thing I want you to know: Sacred Pause practices in lovemaking are a huge part of this. And this is true if you’re making love to yourself or another.

For example, you can use a “Sacred Pause” to slow down and breathe, simply gazing into the eyes of your partner (or yourself with a mirror). See if you can slip into the “gap” where the eyes become the windows to the soul. Allow yourself to explore that place Rumi speaks to when he says, “Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

Practicing pausing to get off the goal-oriented, linear acceleration toward peak orgasm which tends to be more associated with our more masculine or yang sexual energy.

Instead take a long, slow breath and drop into the “valley” of sensation in your arousal, your more feminine or yin energy of receiving. Let go and surrender into pleasure, allowing it to spread throughout your body rather than keeping it concentrated in your sex center. What it happens when you let your whole body become your sex center?

I honor you as a woman committed to claiming the gifts of Sacred Pause—in the bedroom and in all areas of your life!

Interested in having conversations like this more regularly and being part of a circle of like-hearted women exploring the awakening of their Shakti? Check out our Shakti Oasis membership program here.



Photo Credit: Şahin Yeşilyaprak