Surrender …. this is not a word that many of us like or hold in much esteem. Before reading any further, I invite you to pause and say the word to yourself. How does it feel? How does it feel in your body, in your heart, in your soul?
The dictionary definitions can do a pretty good job at reinforcing our distaste for the word: “ceasing to resist the enemy, losing, giving up, submitting to another’s authority.” Not themes that most of us modern-day, post feminist women find very attractive.
So first things first, we need to reclaim the roots of word itself. “Sur” is a prefix meaning “higher” and “to render” means to melt.
To surrender then is to “melt into something higher.”
What if surrendering in this context is actually about letting go of our smallness, our limitations and merging back into our fullness, wholeness, and authentic power?
The idea of surrender can bring up fear for us, particularly if we associate it with loss or being overpowered. If we follow the fear all the way down to it’s root though, we’ll likely find our ultimate human fear: death. Here, however, is precisely where the shadow becomes our ally. It’s the mind and ego that fears death (and with good reason). Our soul knows better; our Spirit never doubts its immortality.
The truth is that Shakti, the sacred feminine power of the universe, cannot die. Our soul self knows that we have mastery in these realms. Our body is designed to cycle. As a woman, we practice moment by moment, moon by moon, what it means to surrender. We change and flow, fill and hold, empty and release.
We know the grace of the circle, the DNA spiral of our very cells. The circle is our home, our wholeness, without beginning or end. In our body we hold the sacred circle, the os, as the sacred gateway to all life. We know that every death in whatever form is in service to a new birth, from our bleeding every month to our annihilation in the moment of orgasm.
We know that every surrender ultimately ushers in something new, even the ones that hurt like hell or demand the largest sacrifice (particularly those kind). Usually, eventually, that new something turns out to be far more magnificent than anything we could have imagined.
We can draw on our inherent feminine mastery of surrender and the grace of the circle wherever we find ourselves on the spiral right now: hopeful, bereft, radiant, imploding, clear, muddled, retreating, or joygasmically engaged with life. As we relax more deeply into our ability to surrender, melting into what is higher (or deeper), we find ourselves not only better resourced for our personal challenges but in taking up our task as feminine leaders in the world. Clearly this crazy, beautiful planet is in critical need of our embodied feminine wisdom.
Our connection to Shakti is our greatest resource for whatever lies before us. Instead of pushing, striving, stressing and trying to win in the old masculine model, we more effortlessly co-create through attraction, allowing, and pleasure.
It reminds me of that famous Rumi poem:
Out beyond ideas
of figuring it out and making it happen
there is a field,
let’s meet Her there.
Or something like that.
Yes we’ve all been overly attached, even addicted, to the old ways. We find ourselves distrusting the feminine, the spiritual, the body, the heart. We’ve made surrendering into a bad thing.
So it’s with compassion and some humor if we can muster it, that we surrender even that. We remind ourselves that we can choose to stop grasping onto the shore in fear. We can let go into the river, into the flow. We can become familiar with and begin trusting the wellspring of Shakti inside of us. The more we do, the easier it becomes because she is so reliably loving with her guidance. Doors open, opportunities and invitations come to you, synchronicity confirms that you’re right on track, prosperity blooms, you feel more sexy, turned on, and alive.
None of this has to do with what you look like in a bathing suit, whether you’ve found your soul mate, or how long you meditate in the morning. You might hear yourself saying, “It feels too good to be true.” And then you might, quite accurately, question where you ever learned to yoke “too good” with “not true.” Our conscious surrender feels like magic only because we’ve become so unaccustomed to feeling our own authentic feminine power.
In this way, as we practice surrendering, we are really practicing truth. Reuniting with the natural rhythm, feeding ourselves the nourishment of resting into soul companionship with our own true essence, awakening our Shakti, we surrender ourselves home.